After watching the first half of the Lions-Rams debacle, here are three predictions for you.

1. 6-10 again.

2. Harrington gets yanked in the 2nd game. It doesn't help, because they have no line.

3. The Lions do not get a playoff win, which it ever happens would be the second in my lifetime, again this year.

Uh, Go Vikings?

I debated not posting about this, but hey, since this blog is nothing but a vanity project ... I have to claim a first-ever live tourney win on Saturday.

BG's brother Mike N. (blog I think still on hiatus) hosted an eight man NL tournament. T2000 to start, blinds started at 10/20 and increased every 45 minutes. I lost a sizeable portion of my stack when K9o in the big blind flopped trips. I played the aggressor until the river, when Matt raised all-in. I couldn't put him on anything that would beat me, called, and it turned out that he masterfully slowplayed a flopped boat. Down to about T650.

Not too long thereafter, I went on a rush. I had rebuilt to just above the starting stack when the hand of the night comes up. I have AhQd and two others play the raised pot. Flop of Qh 9h 4h. Matt bets T400, Pete raises to T1400. I think, and decide that this is going to be my best opportunity to put myself in position to win. I come over the top for the rest of my chips, unfortunately only T600 more. Matt thinks for a long time and folds his set of 9s. Pete calls with Kh Jh and the flopped flush. I suck out with a heart on the turn. I figured the opposing hands correctly, and just plain got lucky on what was probably a bad decision. If Matt stays in, I'm only 21% to win, and even with him out I was only 27%.

I later call Mike N's all-in bet on a 8-6-5 rainbow flop. He has A8o for TPTK, I luckboxed out and flopped a set with 55. Down to heads up with Matt. After trading a few chips, I raise with 77, he pushes with AK. The first card off the deck is a 7, and it's over.

Proving yet again that luck >> skill, all things being equal.

I was reading a post by Bad Blood on "Level 0 thinking" yesterday, when I got a disturbing flash of insight. That could be me. I've made way more than my fair share of Level 0 plays lately.

On Thursday, I was playing $40 PLO8, and managed to lose a $75 pot because I misread my hand. AA27 with three spades, two low cards (one was a 4) and two spades on the flop, 2 on the turn, 5 on the river. I thought I had A-3 for the wheel, even though my nut flush didn't get there. Stupid. But that's what I get for playing 2 other games at the same time. The good news is that I managed to pull it back to even. Yesterday's ring game wasn't so kind.

And then there was some advanced level 0 thinking on display last night. I log on to Stars and use 80 of my 82 remaining FPPs to sign up for a WCOOP satellite that starts in 3 minutes. After I sign up, I see that it's stud. Okay. Not my first choice, but I can handle it. Then I notice that it's a satellite to a Level 2 on Saturday night at 9:00. I had just gotten a call for a home game, so I can't play the Level 2. Can you unregister from this thing? Nope. Nuts.

I play it out anyway. After an unbelievably idiotic opening hand -- four people capping it all the way down, a fifth with two aces showing folded on sixth street -- which I scooped with two pair (!) Kings over Sevens, I have a stack.

Then I notice it's Stud Hi/Lo. Oops. Maybe I should pay less attention to that MTT on Full Tilt.

I am the chipleader for the first 40 minutes, catch a couple awful hands ... 4 parts to a 5-low or an OESD on 4th, brick brick brick FOLD .. and at the second break I'm the short stack. Somehow, I survived. That never happens.

There is no moral to this story, other than to say I am so happy to have finally WON something lately. Other than the crazy monkey $2 NLO8 SnGs, that is. Not much of a prize, but I'm damned glad to have those 800 FPPs. Good thing I could unregister from the Round 2. Perhaps it's not all bad to be an idiot.

Maybe I'll dip my toes in the waters of Level 1 thinking tonight. Oh, who am I kidding, I'll probably checkraise with the hammer and lose at least one buy-in pushing an overpair into an obvious flopped set. I'm stupid like that. Level 0.

"Happiness is flopping Quad 9s with no low possible and getting paid off by not one but two marsupials." -- Me

I have absolutely nothing of value to say, but I'll throw this up just so that I can continue to pretend to be a poker blogger.

Almost no poker has been played of late, and what little I can claim is a handful of (ooh, aah) $2+$0.20 Omaha/8 SnGs. I just crashed and burned in one, breaking a string of five straight cashes - 1 win, 2 2nds, 2 3rds. No, they don't pay much, just $10/$6/$4, but it's been nice to cash in *something*. I'm not good, but I know enough not to play K-J-9-4 rainbow preflop, which usually puts me ahead of at least three or four players.

Stress at work, bad poker, bad golf. I could complain, but why bother? Things are still pretty good.

It's so unusual to pop up Bloglines and find virtually nothing new to read. This better be the result of much of the poker blogosphere pokering and drinking themselves into near oblivion at Brad-o-ween. Those of us not there expect trip reports, dammit.

No poker of note has been played around here. I did see something on the golf course on Friday that I've never seen before ... maybe I'll write that up.

As noted by the Boy Genius, it's official, the West Michigan blogger contingent is booked, confirmed and going back to Las Vegas. December 15-18, or roughly T minus 4 months. Plenty of time for other degenerate gambooolers to decide they have nothing better to do.



I'm planning to build the bankroll between now and then by probably swearing off casino poker, giving up multitable tournaments when I'm not in perfect concentration mode and generally not donking around as much. Oh, who am I kidding, I don't think that last one is even possible. Maybe I can get in a thousand or so $5 Omaha/8 SnGs. Otherwise, barring some unexpected good fortune, I may have to downgrade from Kraft Mac 'n Cheese to the store brand (or even ramen noodles) if I'm going to be properly rolled for Vegas 2-4.

Between having the trip booked and a kickass concert, Tuesday was a good day.

I've mentioned a couple times lately the low dollar No Limit Omaha/8 SnGs at Prima, and how they are the ultimate crazy monkey game. I've now found that not all of them feature an endless parade of all-ins, although they are still not exactly filled with good players. If you are careful, they're not too hard to beat. In my last four, I've finished 1st, 4th, 2nd and 3rd. For the last couple, I dropped down to the $2+$0.20 level given limitations on my ability to concentrate. As you might expect, not much different than the $5 version.

While waiting for the table to fill on the one game I played last night, I sampled a $2+$0.20 "Extreme Turbo" NL Holdem SnG. Wow. This format is officially now the nuttiest thing I've ever seen. It's a 5-max game, 1000 chips to start, and the blinds double every two or three hands. If the game's not over in five minutes, there's something wrong. I finished 2nd, losing on a river suckout. I don't know what game this is, but I don't think that hoping to get a decent hand or two out of the twelve to fifteen dealt and/or sucking out a lot is really playing poker.

Today will go down as a decent day for non-poker reasons, but we'll get into that later.

For various reasons, yesterday found me deep in the wilds of northern Michigan.

Driving along, I'm channel surfing on the radio, looking for something worth listening to. By this point, and I'm not joking, I've heard each and every one of Def Leppard's hits from the 1980s at least once, Rock of Ages two or three times. I'm not feeling like listening to Faith Hill caterwauling about whatever her new single is about, so the selection is a little sparse. It's also a struggle to get a station that doesn't fade out among the hills and trees.

One of the strongest signals I find is an NPR station. As a general rule, I don't listen to NPR. Politics and political music make my head hurt. At the moment, however, neither was in play. Instead, it was a broadcast of "World of Opera", and they were on a break, having just completed the first act of the feature performance.

Now, I know nothing about opera, other than it involves fat people and singing. I think I once told a woman I had no interest in dating that I was an operatic tenor headed off to New York for training (at least three lies at once), but beyond that, no connection.

Anyway, at this point, I'm driving down a narrow dirt -- in this part of the world, dirt means packed sand -- road slash deathtrap and I'm finding that I have to pay attention to what I'm doing instead of surfing the dial. The announcer is providing a summary of the plot of Act II, and it turns out there is actually a reason for me to listen:

The opera they're playing is Puccini's "la Fanciulla del West" (The Girl of the Golden West -- I've actually heard of the opera, for some reason, it's based on a David Belasco play), and at the end of Act II, the heroine engages in a desparation poker game against the local sheriff. If she wins, she gets to be with the bandit she loves, if she loses the bandit gets it and she has to marry the sheriff. She cheats and wins. Unfortunately, poker sung in Italian sounds to the non-Italian speaker exactly like everything else sung in Italian, so I can't go into any more detail. From what the announcer said, it doesn't sound much like a real poker game (something about two hands out of three), but it's always fascinating to find poker references in odd places. It was enough to get me to listen.

There really isn't a point or purpose to this post, I just thought I'd share an odd experience. If you'd asked me a week ago if I'd ever find myself driving down dirt roads in the middle of the forest, nobody around for miles on a cloudy summer afternoon, listening to an opera on NPR, I'd probably have responded by asking if you were on crack. And yet it not only happened, I found myself enjoying it. Go figure.

I could add some poker content, but that part is not enjoyable. Low limit variance, the game kicking me in the junk, that sort of thing, so I'm going to skip it. The sun is out, it's summer, and I'll limit myself to a cordial f-bomb directed to the game and its semi-equine participants.

I know the in thing lately has been to post 100 things about yourself. Since I'm half as cool (at best) and twice as lazy, I'm only giving up fifty, and half of these are really just random thoughts. What can I say, I'm in one of those moods.

1. I tell myself every day "you really should be working harder". It doesn't seem to help.

2. I am a decent cook, I love kitchen gadgets and have many of them. I haven't felt the need for a quesadilla maker yet, though.

3. Turned loose with enough cash, I can do a lot of damage in an office supply store or Home Depot. I hate shopping most anywhere else, especially in mega-stores.

4. I would like to be good enough at poker for it to be a second income, but I'm too lazy to put in the effort required.

5. I'm also very non-aggressive by nature which doesn't help.

6. If I could change one law, I think I'd get rid of the one that prevents cable TV channels from being offered a la carte. I'd be perfectly happy with just ESPN and maybe one or two more.

7. It's been a couple months since I cancelled my cable TV subscription, and I've missed it much less than I expected.

8. I remain hopelessly addicted to the internet.

9. I don't drink coffee or tea.

10. I enjoy a good beer or glass of wine, but really don't drink much. When I do, chances are it's probably going to just be a beer-flavored water like Miller Lite. The colder the better, thank you.

11. I once had a homeless man ask me for a dollar just outside a liquor store, and when I asked him what it was for, he said it was so he could buy another 40oz beer. I appreciated his truthfulness and gave him the buck. I wouldn’t have given it to him if he’d said it was for bus fare or because his car had broken down.

12. I would rather read a good book than do most anything else. Heck, I'd rather read a mediocre book than do most anything.

13. Despite the good feeling I get when I finish a project, it's still usually very hard to get myself to start doing it.

14. I type surprisingly well considering that I've never had any training. I can also 10-key, which comes in handy during tax time.

15. I'm modestly ambidextrous, and have switched to using my mouse at work left-handed to minimize the creeping onset of carpal tunnel.

16. If I have a dominant eye, it isn't very strong. I write and play golf right-handed, swing a baseball bat or hockey stick left-handed.

17. When going to school, I found that several beers at lunch greatly eased the pain of an exceptionally boring 1:25 pm class.

18. Despite living in two states where it's a near religion, I have never gone deer hunting.

19. I have twice won Rotisserie baseball leagues. I now pay almost no attention and am doomed to the middle of the pack. Owning Barry Bonds this year isn’t doing me any favors.

20. I truly suck at fantasy football.

21. I will take a plain appearance and sweet voice over the face of an angel, voice of a harpy any day.

22. I hate vinyl siding and will probably never live in a house built after 1960.

23. If I'm going anywhere within a 12 hour drive, I prefer driving to flying. Thanks, TSA & big Air!

24. Laziness is my biggest personal flaw, I have it in spades along with all its components including procrastination.

25. I believe that it's almost impossible to persuade a stupid person that s/he is wrong, so it's usually not worth the effort.

26. I bought a (cheap) DVD player for the sole purpose of being able to buy and watch the "NewsRadio" DVD collection.

27. I am laughably non-artistic.

28. I also have the worst handwriting you've ever seen.

29. "Some assembly required" does not faze me. "Batteries not included" is much more likely to be a problem.

30. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person I know who will be paying off student loans out of a Social Security check, assuming that Social Security is still around when I hit retirement age.

31. I look ridiculous in a hat. Any hat.

32. I stopped wearing contacts years ago mostly out of laziness. I haven't quite convinced myself that I should start again, since the glasses rarely bother me.

33. What other people think about me concerns me much less than it used to. Probably because I'm more self-aware as to all my various and assorted deficiencies. And also because I just don’t care.

34. I have consumed more Coca Cola in my lifetime than I like to think about. I'm pretty sure my insides are permanently caramel colored and I'm largely immune to caffeine.

35. I usually scare small children but get along OK with the elderly.

36. I had a copy of "The Book of Lists" when I was a kid. I found it fascinating.

37. "The Book Of Lists 2", however, kinda sucked, as do most sequels.

38. One of my favorite stupid little things is sleeping in on a weekend during a thunderstorm.

39. The next time somebody in Las Vegas asks me what I do for a living, I'm going to tell them that I design miniature golf courses.

40. I make a lot of lists, but rarely pay much attention to them.

41. I don’t own a tinfoil hat, but I have googled how to make one.

42. There must be something about me that is irresistable to telemarketers. I had seven calls in the first fifteen minutes I was home yesterday. Two wanted to talk to me about consolidating student loans (done years ago, thank you), one was a ‘charity’, and the other four I managed to hang up on before the computer put Apu from Punjab on the line to tell me about the latest Citibank credit card offer.

43. I am definitely switching to cell-phone only, just as soon as I decide that having a phone at all is in fact worthwhile.

44. I have a single digit USGA handicap index, but I will never be really good at golf because my short game is horrible.

45. My job would be great if it didn’t involve deadlines or dealing with people. Or, for that matter, work.

46. When I was a kid, I never really felt challenged to determine how many licks it took to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop. I usually just crunched the darned thing.

47. I own the world’s most temperamental dishwasher.

48. People always ask me if I played basketball or football in school.

49. They’re always surprised when I say no, I was on the swimming and golf teams, and I was maybe 5’10" and 175 lbs when I graduated from high school.

50. I think the longest hour of the day is the last hour before lunch when you’re really, really tired.

Okay, I was wrong. I thought my list was missing a few things, and it was. So here's the rest of 'em. (I'm going to try and slot this below the first fifty. If it works, great, if not, oh well).

51. I am almost 35. I have always questioned whether I’ll make it to 40.

52. I am the worst poker player I personally know (and yes, Felicia, that does include the Boy Genius), and I use that as a convenient excuse for this sad impersonation of a “poker blog”.

53. My undergraduate alma mater is the same as one of my favorite NYC poker bloggers. I didn’t win any awards for writing, though.

54. I am ridiculously impatient and almost never think or plan for the long term.

55. My primary remaining dream is to win the lottery. I could spend hours going on about what I would do if I did win. Let’s just say I’d find something else to do with my life.

56. Finding shoes in the proper size is a pain in the neck.

57. I’ve entered a fair number of sweepstakes drawings over the years, but haven’t won a thing since I picked up a bunch of art supplies when I was in college.

58. I hold the same graduate degree, from the same school, as a former WSOP champion.

59. I once dislocated a kneecap playing softball. I hit the stupid thing about 400 feet (no fence), but it ended up being an out since I couldn’t get up off the ground to get to first base.

60. I don’t think I would enjoy following kosher or muslim dietary laws. No bacon.

61. I am turned off by people who can’t spell and don’t know their homophones. I’m much more tolerant of mistakes in grammar, probably since I’m deficient in that area myself.

62. My favorite foods generally involve some combination of bread, cheese and tomato sauce. Except for ice cream.

63. For something with no taste, I think an ice cold glass of good water tastes great.

64. I generally don’t eat seafood, although I do like shrimp.

65. I own way too many white dress shirts.

66. I find it virtually impossible to sleep on airplanes.

67. Sleeping in the car, however, is easy. I just try not to do it while driving.

68. I don’t think I’ve been swimming since I graduated from high school.

69. I got my first job when I was 14, and I worked food service jobs until a year after college. I also worked various IT jobs, including writing contract computer programs and doing tech support.

70. I once cut a live computer power cable by mistake. It made an impressive noise.

71. The thing I miss most about living in a bigger is city is the feeling of being completely anonymous. You can’t go to the grocery store in this town without running into a half dozen people you know.

72. I am single, and if you compare the number of hours I spend visiting my grandmother to the number of hours I spend on anything related to dating, grandma wins by a lot.

73. I used Bonus Code: IGGY. Did you?

74. We had a Commodore 64 computer when I was a kid. I don’t know how many hours I wasted playing (mostly) pirated computer games and learning how to program. I eventually taught myself machine language, which was ultimately a waste of time.

75. I currently (and supposedly) speak English, although if pressed I could cobble together some passable French. And if you can find a compiler, I can still probably code Pascal and maybe COBOL.

76. Despite the fact that I hate yard work, I own a house.

77. I once ran for elective office and survived the primary despite doing no campaigning.

78. It’s a virtual certainty that I’ll never do that again. I hate politics.

79. The most unlikely song I have on my iPod (okay, it’s a mini knockoff) is “Ready For The Times To Get Better” by Crystal Gayle.

80. If I’m into something, I have a great attention span. If I’m not, it’s a struggle.

81. My favorite number is 26. No particular reason why.

82. I have probably looked to see what sign of the Chinese zodiac I was born under at least fifty times (on the placemats at Chinese restaurants). I always end up forgetting.

83. I have had two royal flushes in my life. One was playing Omaha/8, so it doesn’t really count.

84. I once won $125 for inflicting a quad-over-quad bad beat.

85. I’ve never taken an illegal drug, and probably never will. Personal choice. Unless you count underage drinking, of which I did plenty.

86. My first college roommate was African-American. A latter roommate, who happened to be my best friend at the time, was a Jew originally from Brooklyn. Both were mind-opening experiences for someone from a small town that was 99% white and conservative Christian.

87. I once wrote a Lotus-1-2-3 macro that scraped data off a mainframe database and which could be used to quickly and easily plan an entire manufacturing plant’s production. I rocked at Lotus programming.

88. I used to think that for pure physical beauty, women peak in their mid- to late- twenties. I’m currently re-thinking that theory after seeing an awful lot of gorgeous 19-22 year olds. Nobody you know.

89. I have a lot of free time on my hands, but rarely get anything done.

90. The question people ask me most often that I don’t know how to answer is “Do you enjoy your job?”

91. I actively discourage kids from going to law school, because most don’t have a clue what they want to do with their lives or what the practice is actually like.

92. I take back what I said earlier about seafood. I’m okay with tuna and with fish sticks, too, although I almost never eat them, either.

93. The only professional sport I’ve ever held season tickets to is hockey. Okay, they were shared with several other people.

94. I’ve only twice written letters to companies after being screwed or mistreated. I never got a response to either one.

95. I currently subscribe to two magazines (Golf Digest and Business Week), neither of which I paid for. I won’t be paying to renew either for that matter.

96. For some reason, I always read the obituaries, district court blotter and the lists of weddings and divorces in the newspaper, looking for people I know.

97. I’ve never been arrested, and hope to keep it that way.

98. I have never reorganized my sock drawer.

99. I think that “99 Luftballoons” is one of the crappier songs from the 80s, and that the version sung in English is even worse.

100. This is about 99 more things than you ever really wanted to know.

Through 2:30 CDT today, Southwest has a "DING!" fare of $77 each way from Chicago to Las Vegas (also $96 from Detroit and a couple other cities). Good October 1 to November 17 only, limited flights, etc etc.

Every once and a while, I miss living fifteen minutes from a major international airport.

First extended session at the online tables in a while last night. When you don't feel like doing anything, what could be more obvious?

I recently mentioned the NL Omaha/8 SnGs on Prima. After playing another one last night, I need to tweak my assessment. They're not just the craziest of monkey games, they're completely ridiculous. If you don't get all ins on every hand (which we didn't in this one), the blinds escalate so rapidly that it's a bigger crapshoot than even a Party SnG. Case in point: With 4 players left, I was the chip leader (but not by much). I had 4 BBs in my "stack" and the blinds were about to increase again. One call-and-whiff with an A23x starter and one suckout (straight over straight, I have no problem with the call of my turn push since he had plenty of outs) and I'm bubble boy. It was all gambling at the end.

Otherwise, I spread it around. A $1 Razz MTT (don't ask), a 28th in a $5 NL MTT (top 20 paid), some ring baby NL (small win) and ring o/8 (loss). Too much going on to guarantee a good session, but it was excellent mental exercise.

I actually had a strategy post to make, but I'm not real with it this morning, so it's going to have to wait. Maybe I'll get around to it this weekend, maybe not. I hope to get in a few hours at Full Tilt, too.

I'm a little late getting with the program, but I just put a few bucks into Full Tilt to try and rack up a few entries to their August "$10,000 per day giveaway". It's pretty cool to see a message pop up in the chat box every once in a while, announcing the names of winners, all of whom get $50 or more.

This was the last message:

System: The following Tilters are the latest winners
in today's "$10K A Day" drawing: Koutar, jrfire,
ocho1288, Boy Genius, HGSDDS $50 Winners

Free money is cool, isn't it?

Allegiant Air (flights from quite a few cities now) is offering the following:

"Friends Fly Free!
For a limited time, buy one air/hotel vacation package and the second person flies free when traveling on the same itinerary.

Terms and Conditions:
- Companion must travel on same itinerary as
regular fare passenger
- Purchase by August 24, 2005
- Valid for travel through January 31, 2006
- Minimum 2 night hotel stay required"

Blackout dates and various other restrictions apply. Might save you a few bucks if you're not going alone.

It was a good weekend. Allow me to bore you with the details.

Things started off properly on Friday night with a brief but profitable session on Prima. I was getting in a few raked hands to play in the 8:30 freeroll when the call came for a last-minute home game. I now know what it feels like to (a) get good starting hands AND (b) hit with them. Those things never seem to go together. Sets, straights, two pair, top pair, awesome. I sucked out at least once (TPTK rivering a second pair to beat a flopped 2 pair) and did not have the favor returned. By the time the game broke up, I had more than quadrupled my $20 buyin.

Saturday featured a mediocre round of golf that still somehow won me five bucks thanks to a timely birdie. I hiked downtown in the evening for the fireworks, which were great (as expected), and provided bouns entertainment, as they did a really nice job of setting the hill on fire. Biggest hill fire I can remember since I was a kid. The paper said that it ended up burning 25 acres.

If it'll let me link, here's a photo:



I may have discovered the craziest monkey game of all -- Prima lists No Limit Omaha/8 Sit-n-Gos, and I played a $5+$0.50 for kicks on Saturday. Wow. I was out in about five minutes, and still had outlasted four players. There was at least one all-in on every single hand, either pre-flop or once the flop came down. I think I got busted when I called two all-ins with top set (but no redraws) which lost to a runner-runner flush. I'm definitely going to try this game again, because if it's the same it may prove helpful in getting me used to folding a lot. When I've been playing O8 SnGs, I've been playing limit (not PL or NL), so I'll have to adjust my thinking a bit. Exercise keeps the brain fresh, or something like that.

It's been a slow week on the blog front, but that's in part because our little town is currently celebrating (read: enduring) a major summer festival. This is a summer town, where people come, hang out at the beach, shop for cutesy crap in the stores downtown and do all things you would expect tourists on vacation to do. This week, and this week only, multiply that by 1,000x and add a healthy dose of stupidity.

If I had any sense, I'd take the week off. To explain why, here are some visual aids...

My office is on the main drag. Starting about 25 feet west, you have this:

Link to Photo

That's right, a real life carnival. They even have real life toothless hillbilly carnies. And lots of screaming kiddies, although for whatever reason the scream count was way down this year. They must have moved the Tilt-A-Whirl down to the other end or something.

And then, today and tomorrow, you have the following, one-half block east:

Link to Photo

An art fair. (The trees mask 90% of the booths, trust me, it takes up the whole block)

So anyway, I have to walk down that way to do some actual work today. I'm wearing professional attire, namely a shirt and a tie. I'm definitely the only one. Every single other person is in shorts and a T-shirt.

Tomorrow brings a big parade and the best fireworks show you'll ever see (I've seen them in a lot of places, and this is the best, no exaggeration). If you go downtown, they're directly overhead and it's awe-inspiring. Of course, you'll be down there with about 200,000 of your new closest friends, but it's worth it. I just hope you don't have to drive home, because you might not get there until Monday.

So that's my story. I played a little poker on Prima last night and lost $6. I was trying to get in enough raked hands to play tonight's freeroll ... don't remember if I made it.

Ahh, that's better. Nothing cures poker malaise like a quick hit and run. Sorry about the general whininess of the prior post.

As a bonus, I'm now an international poker superstar, bitches.

Maybe not. But I did score an almost one buyin win at a "TV Broadcast" table on Prima. I have no idea why anyone would watch schlubs playing online 8-max NLHE with $0.50/$1.00 blinds, but whatever. There's no accounting for taste. What matters is that in about three orbits I got AA (turned a set), QQ (flopped a set) and nobody drew out on me either time.

I shall now set off for the yang to the above yin, where poker gives you a sound anal probing and comes back for more. Also known as the online multi-table tournament.

I'm in a slump. The last week or so has been some of the worst poker I've ever seen, and it's been played by me. Please excuse the venting.

I think I mentioned a lousy session at Party early in the week. Well, I followed that up with a spectacularly stupid mini-session at Full Tilt, leaving me with essentially just what I have on Prima and the couple hundred bucks of earlier profits held in reserve. Not much.

The capper was playing, if you can call it that, in Saturday's home game. Five players (including BG), two NL tournaments. Finished fifth in the first. Made a stupid overaggressive play with QQ to lose most of my stack, and then managed to run 10-7 sooted (flop 7-7-A) all in into the nuts. Yep, the BG had to be holding A7o. A ten came on the turn to leave me with two outs, but no such luck.

The second tournament wasn't much better. I again quickly got down on chips, either raising with decent hands and whiffing completely or limping with marginal hands and, uh, whiffing completely. I did manage to crack AA and QJo with 33, but as I was down under 100 chips (from a starting T1000), all it did was delay the inevitable. I get 6-3 of clubs in a blind, get to see a flop of 4c-5c-10c, push and (of course) run into Ac-9c. I don't hit either of my 2 outs (at least I had the open ended straight flush draw) and it's over again.

One for four on two-outers isn't a bad batting average. It's the getting repeatedly into a position where you only have two outs that's a problem. Mediocre cards + Bad boards + really f'ing stupid loose weak play = Loser.

It's time to re-evaluate.