Yo.

Here for your boredom is quite possibly the worst tournament performance ever.

I had qualified for tonights Prima $5,000 festive "freeroll" (you could rebuy and add on) by doing well in a satellite. Started at 9:00 pm. I decided to warm up for a couple hours playing micro-limit NL since I usually play limit.

Anyway, I'm having a high variance evening. I draw middle position and promptly fold crap the first three hands. Fourth hand I'm under the gun. Sweet! AA! I raise 6x BB or so, and get four callers. Flop is Q and 2 rags, rainbow. Pretty harmless. I toss a sizeable bet out there, get a caller, and someone goes all in. Called to me. I like the idea of maybe tripling up. Decisions, decisions. I call. Other player folds. It's AA vs. KQ (one pair of Q and all in?) and some low pocket pair. Turn is a brick. River is a K. I lose. 2045th place out of 2081.

Out of shame, I do not rebuy.

I go back to playing low $ NL, buying in for $10 at 2 tables and playing a third of limit. I win a couple pots and then lay a wicked bad beat. I have AKo. Flop comes AKJ. Turn is a Q. I've pushed everyone out except one player, who raises me all-in. I've got to throw $13 in to call, the pot's more than $17 already.

I am a stupid fish. After tanking, I call.

River is an A. I am GOOT. I feel bad for the guy with the 10-rag off who had the nuts going to the river. I hit my four outer (plus 3 tainted outs for the split pot). Oh, the humanity.

I think that's the first $30.00 pot I've won playing $0.05/$0.10 NL.

Yup, I've been missing in action. That's life, that's what all the people say.

I've been screwing around at the various micro limits, and watching my bankroll bounce up and down. I've had it over $40 a couple times, only to drop back into the low-30s.

Tonight I'm really taking a beating, as I haven't seen a hand worth playing and I'm getting blinded down hard. I had TT once and lost to a rivered pair of Kings, and had 44 once, made a boat, and lost to a bigger boat of someone holding 99. Had ATs once, and that's about it (oh yeah, I lost). In fact, I haven't won a single pot tonight in probably 100+ hands. It's just gruesome.

I've had the hammer 3 times, turned 2 pair once, and had the river counterfeit my second pair. I lost to JT off. Argh.

I misplayed the TT hand, as I should've pushed hard with undercards on the board, but I feared the flush.

Okay, scratch all that. I just won a tasty pot with T9s, the A, K and J of my suit hit the board (four flush, total), and nobody had the Queen. FINALLY!

Of course I go right back to getting garbage, but whatever. I just felt like griping.

Music of the Moment: Nothing, actually
Next Up: Run DMC, "Christmas in Hollis" <--- a random computer selection

I really suck at tournament poker. I played another $1 freezeout and never saw a decent hand. Made it to the middle of the pack and busted when I pushed on a blind that flopped 2 pair. At the time, things were also pretty cold on the limit tables, so I was a little torqued.

Today's been even more of the same. I busted out quick in the 11:00 AM freeroll, and am busy playing the noon 5K freeroll qualifier. I got a couple AQos early, both lost. Down about half my stack, I got the hammer (72o) on the button, pushed all in, and doubled up off the table aggro when I went runner-runner to make two weak-ass pair. Fun to be on the other end of that. At least he didn't complain much (seeing as he called with K3o and flopped a K). Looks like we're down to 1600 or so at the break (about 1000 get tickets to the big one), so hopefully I can fold my way in. I suck.

Well, I hope it goes fast. Things to do, places to go, can't kill the whole day sitting here....

Music of the Moment: Shelby Lynne, "Killing Kind"
Next Up: Neko Case, "Porchlight"

Still haven't come up with a good song title with the word Tuesday in it. Guess I'm stuck googling it.

I am a little jumpy for some reason today. Maybe it's lack of sleep, maybe not. I was on my way home from work tonight (in the dark, of course), made a left onto my street and nearly ran into what I thought was an ambulence sitting there. It had its lights on, but I still almost didn't see it. The near-miss didn't shake me up, but thinking it was an ambulence certainly did. Turns out that it wasn't -- in fact, it was the Schwan's delivery guy making a house call. Someone on our street died within the last week or so, and I saw the ambulence take him away, so that may be the root of it.

If there were ever a contest for the High Variance Poker guy, I would have to enter. I have wasted way too much time this week screwing around on Prima. I ran my account up over $30.00, kept it there playing more than a hundred hands of $0.25/$0.50, and then last night I took a beating at every level from $0.25/$0.50 on down until, out of spite and as a classic example of tilt, I sat at a nickel-dime table and played RAISE OR FOLD! That worked great for a while, as I hit a couple of draws and passive players laid down on the river. Eventually I started missing everything and got sucked out on once or twice, so I finally dragged my carcass to bed in the wee small hours. At least I managed to bump things back up above $15.00.

Tonight, I've played reasonably well, back down at nickel-dime, and I took a shot at a dollar freezout. Yecch. Fold after fold, managed to limt about three times with suited aces, missed badly and folded. Got one pocket pair (66 on the button), but it also missed. Finally got AQ suited, flopped an ace, rivered a Q and pushed. Lost to a set of 6s and I'm out in the middle of the pack. Ugh. Then again, I played a rebuy tournament yesterday, and just shook my head at the people going all in and rebuying over and over. Tournament NLHE is not my game, it would appear.

Okay, that's enough poker drivel. Gotta wrap this up. TGIF all.

Music of the Moment: The semi-sweet electronic noise of the Prima poker network
Next Up: The starting of my car as I go back to work.

The above is the answerable-but-is-it question of the day. I'm drawing a blank at the moment, but will be pondering a bit this afternoon. Of course, it's one of those days. I mean, I've said it's still November at least three or four times this morning. Ugh. I will probably end up having to google it.

Then there are good times. I was killing time last night while I couldn't sleep and managed to run $3.00 up over $18.00 playing $0.10-$0.20 limit. 75 big bets in just a couple of hours is way better than I'm usually capable of, so it was a good night. Now, if only I'd been playing 15-30 or something!

With that, the tuna sandwich is toast, and I'm gone.

Music of the Moment: Tift Merritt, "Virginia, No One Can Warn You"
Next Up: David Bowie & Queen, "Under Pressure"

I miss Johnny Cash.

I need to put some of his music on my gift list for the Generic Winter Festival Gathering With Food & Gifts More or Less Related to Savior Birth.

And do you think I need to create some more thematic playlists on the ol' PC, or what? Who knows what's coming up after this ... well, it probably won't be Britney Spears. Or Korn. Whew, turns out it's Nickel Creek.

I've been asking myself a lot of unanswerable questions lately. Then too, I have been musing on questions which are answerable, just perhaps not by me. At the moment, I'm wondering, do people really wake up screaming?

You think I'm joking, but I'm not. I want to know the answer to this.

I wake up grumbling every once in a while, and cursing maybe on the thankfully most rare occassions of a severe leg cramp or acid reflux or something, but I don't recall ever waking up screaming.

Not much else up at the moment. I did kill a couple minutes joining a Netflix-like DVD service. Something to look forward to. Now, I just have to pick up a DVD player. Good thing they now cost less than many coffeemakers or toaster ovens.

The best kind of day is truly the lazy Saturday. You can sleep in, plus you can probably manage to get through the day without thinking about work -- that is, if you have a "regular" job, and if you aren't fond of it.

I had pretty much planned to do nothing today, and that's exactly what has materialized. I needed a recovery day to work on the comeback from this cold that has dogged me for several days now. Ugh.

I've mostly been killing time playing the always popular nickel-dime tables on Prima. It's cheap entertainment (playing on house money), the people are weird enough, and it's always fun to try and figure out what exactly the Scandanavian players who have a shaky command of English are trying to say.

Beyond that, let's see.... I've been random surfing a bit, and have come to a conclusion. I now have a second favorite Aussie, after of course the lovely and talented Kasey Chambers.....

Music of the moment: The Sundays, "Summertime"
Next up: BR5-49, "Seven Nights To Rock"

More federally-mandated poker "content" (heh heh heh).

I think I'm starting to get a bit bored playing nickel-dime with Prima's money. I'm up, I'm down, I'm break-even. Mostly even. I've probably played a couple thousand hands by now on this same $10.00, and the balance just isn't getting much bigger.

I know, let's dump a bunch of money into Neteller and play $5-$10 at Party!

Uh, not exactly.

I am starting to think that I will sign up at Party or a Party skin and put in a deposit. Hey, I can fold 8-2 offsuit there just as well as anywhere else.

Before I do that, however, I need to do my reading, and I would definitely need to buy Pokertracker to figure out why I'm so maddeningly unprofitable. I can spot a few holes -- I do tilt occasionally, and I have been known to call a flop bet if I have two backdoor draws and am confident that I'm not going to get raised. I alternate between way too aggressive and sickeningly passive. In short, I need to be more consistent, without turning that into overly predictable.

And I need to do a better job of moving tables or just shutting the computer off if the cards aren't falling. Tonight has been one of those nights (although, now that I think of it, I hit a couple draws real early). I'll get a 4-flush or an open ended straight draw on the flop, push a bit, and miss, miss, miss. I'll get a suited ace and see nothing of value on the flop. It happens, which is why I'm down more than a buck. I've also flopped exactly two sets, both of which got killed - one by a straight and one by a flush. At least in the latter case the board was a 4-flush, so I could lay it down.

Like I said, I need to improve. And I don't think I'm going to get too far just sitting here playing nickel-dime.

Music of the moment: Chely Wright, "Jezebel"
Next up: Toad the Wet Sprocket, "Walk on the Ocean"

That's right, I love Jessica Simpson for her mind, and I don't care who knows it.

While I'm at it, it appears that I could stand to get some new music. Most everything I'm playing is oldish.

Music of the Moment: Dean Martin, "Ain't That a Kick in the Head"
Next Up: Kasey Chambers, "Million Tears"


More poker "content". At least it's fat free, doctor-tested and kid-approved, USDA 100% pure drivel.

I'm back at it, playing the always challenging nickel-dime limit at a Prima skin. Mind you, this is nickel-dime, where the minimum buyin is $0.50, and a buck goes a long way. I'm not quite bored enough to quit for the evening just yet.

Some random guy sits with, get this, TEN THOUSAND dollars.. Cash money.

I just don't understand.

But I thank you, kind sir, for the contibution to my minibankroll, even if it was money you first took from others at this table. And have a nice day. I must go determine how well vodka mixes with V-8 juice.

Music of the moment: The Waifs, “London Still”.
Next up: Soft Cell, "Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go?"

My cable box has been broken for two days. I can still get basic on TV in the basement, but it’s almost too much of a bother. I’m surprised how little I’ve missed it, considering that I spend the vast majority of evenings either in front of the ol’ idiot box, or at least with it on providing background noise.

I’m thinking some about taking this blog in a different direction. Less focus on poker, more on other stuff. I don’t really know what, in particular, but I’ll think of something. Some of it is practical – hell, who really wants to read about umpteen hours of break-even play on the $10 some Prima skin gave me to screw around with? Some of it is also a random yen to write a bit more. I’m not egotistical enough to think that I could have written an entire novel during the just-ended National Novel Writing Month, but there isn’t anything that says I can’t spit out a couple hundred coherent words here and there.

Before I do any of that, I have to say one thing: Man, I sure get pocket 3s a lot. A lot compared to any hand that’s not garbage, I mean.

But back to the other stuff. Here’s a thought. Maybe I can get the cable box people to give me a telephone. Of all the modern conveniences, the phone is by far the one I hate most. And there it goes again. I really should just turn off the ringers, since I never answer the darned thing anyway.

Good god, I seriously considered getting KFC for dinner tonight. Must go to store. Must not pass go.

I tuned in, via the internet of course, to a Melbourne radio station yesterday. They were having Kasey Chambers on for a few minutes, and I had the time to kill. I ended up listening for a few minutes, and I have to say it’s pretty cool to hear the same boring news, weather and traffic crap from half a world away, where it’s already tomorrow. That part was much more interesting than the actual music being played – your typical top 40 dreck. If you’re Australian, please accept my apologies for this country’s musical exports. You give us Kasey, we give you Nelly, Snoop and bubblegum pop tarts. Blecch.

I could blog at length about Kasey, but once again you’d be bored. So I won’t.

All of a sudden, I’m hungry. Alright, stop. Potato time.*


* I admit it, I can’t stand Eminem, but I do enjoy his zing of MC Hammer in “Just Lose It”.

Okay, back to whining about bad cards. Other than not winning the lottery last night and still being sick, what else would there be to complain about?

In a session of just under an hour, I've had exactly two pocket pairs. Both were JJ. No suited aces, no AQ, AJ or AT. One suited K (K3, whoo hoo!). No other suited connectors.

First JJ I get under the gun, play it correctly, and lose to rivered trip 4s. That's right, call those raises with K4o.

Second JJ I get on the button, play it hard, build a nice big pot, and lose to rivered trip 8s. Yeah, buddy, J8o is a good hand to call me down with.

At some point these morons will pay, but I don't think it's going to happen right now, since I once again have 93o.

Edited to add: I really don't mind the Prima Poker interface, and it's been very stable for me. But, of course, me being me, it crashed a moment ago when I was heads up, playing my first pocket pair of the evening -- AA -- in a large pot where four new players had posted! Aaaargh.