Res Ipsa Poker

why the hell does the Full Tilt random number generator hate me so much?

[Edit: You might want to avert your eyes, this post is growing sicker by the minute]

PLO game. I get AKKJ double suited in position. There's a raise before me. I three-bet.

A notorious shortstacker four bets all in. I'm the only caller.

He has T876 double suited - in the same two suits that I have. NO FLUSH OUTS FOR YOU.

I mean ... fawk.

Hey FTP, I know I'm only a 61/39 favorite, but could you at least wait to the river card to hose me? While you're at it, what's with the all-paint boards when I've got 4 low runners and vice-versa?

Sheesh. I just had a hand check down to the river. Not surprisingly my 7653 unimproved didn't make a winner.

Better shut down before I owe y'all millions.

Oh, wait, here's another joyous one: Shortstacking donk shoves all in on the turn. He has top set, but he's a 3-1 dog because I have broadway plus a flush redraw and he has NO FUCKING REDRAWS except a prayer for a full house or quads which he hits goddammit I am so tired of this CRAP. Every single FCKING TIME.

Can you tell that I haven't won many hands tonight? Man does this suck.

Edit again: And a standard setup - KK into AA 20 minutes into the Mookie.

I am ON FIRE.

Edit one more time: Again, fucked. Dumbass has top set no redraws. I check raise his ass on the turn - I have a straight with a redraw to the nut flush. He shoves over the top. Of course he fucking hits his boat. That's three for three on that exact same setup tonight.

On the positive side, I did break a string of hands where I had KKxx and an ace hit the flop - only 4 times in a row before a break.

STILL RUNNING GOOD.