Res Ipsa Poker

Why I hate poker, in a nutshell:

The first game of the evening:

Full Tilt Poker Game #5447247834: Irish Poker Open Satellite (41361334), Table 3 - 40/80 - No Limit Hold'em - 19:26:52 ET - 2008/02/29
Seat 2: on_thg (1,795)
Seat 3: J_rck22 (2,715), is sitting out
Seat 4: CoronadoMan (1,805)
Seat 5: Invernomuto (1,690)
Seat 6: DarkRattler (2,760)
Seat 8: Hippopot (6,535)
Seat 9: togie (2,070)
CoronadoMan posts the small blind of 40
Invernomuto posts the big blind of 80
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to on_thg [Jc Jd]
DarkRattler folds
Hippopot folds
togie calls 80
on_thg calls 80
J_rck22 folds
CoronadoMan folds
Invernomuto checks
*** FLOP *** [Td 6c 4d]
Invernomuto checks
togie bets 280
on_thg calls 280
Invernomuto folds
*** TURN *** [Td 6c 4d] [4h]
togie bets 1,710, and is all in
on_thg calls 1,435, and is all in
togie shows [Qc Ts]
on_thg shows [Jc Jd]
Uncalled bet of 275 returned to togie

http://twodimes.net/h/?z=4346310
pokenum -h jc jd - qc ts -- td 6c 4d 4h
Holdem Hi: 44 enumerated boards containing 6c Td 4d 4h
cards win %win lose %lose tie %tie EV
Jc Jd 39 88.64 5 11.36 0 0.00 0.886
Ts Qc 5 11.36 39 88.64 0 0.00 0.114

*** RIVER *** [Td 6c 4d 4h] [Qd]
togie shows two pair, Queens and Tens
on_thg shows two pair, Jacks and Fours
togie wins the pot (3,710) with two pair, Queens and Tens
on_thg stands up
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 3,710 | Rake 0
Board: [Td 6c 4d 4h Qd]
Seat 2: on_thg showed [Jc Jd] and lost with two pair, Jacks and Fours
Seat 3: J_rck22 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: CoronadoMan (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: Invernomuto (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 6: DarkRattler didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: Hippopot didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: togie showed [Qc Ts] and won (3,710) with two pair, Queens and Tens


Annnnnnnnnnnd the last game:

Full Tilt Poker Game #5450065226: Friday Nite Blogger Donkament (40778369), Table 3 - 250/500 Ante 50 - No Limit Hold'em - 23:15:08 ET - 2008/02/29
Seat 2: ElSnarfGrande (4,740)
Seat 3: Fishiswa (63,570)
Seat 4: NumbBono (10,787)
Seat 6: pushmonkey72 (33,626)
Seat 7: on_thg (16,298)
Seat 8: nutzfirth (14,849)
ElSnarfGrande antes 50
Fishiswa antes 50
NumbBono antes 50
pushmonkey72 antes 50
on_thg antes 50
nutzfirth antes 50
NumbBono posts the small blind of 250
pushmonkey72 posts the big blind of 500
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to on_thg [Kh Kc]
on_thg raises to 1,500
nutzfirth folds
ElSnarfGrande folds
Fishiswa folds
NumbBono folds
pushmonkey72 raises to 5,050
on_thg: i'm taking these hobbits to Isengard
on_thg raises to 16,248, and is all in
pushmonkey72 calls 11,198
on_thg shows [Kh Kc]
pushmonkey72 shows [Tc 5c]
*** FLOP *** [3d Jd 4c]

http://twodimes.net/h/?z=4346316
pokenum -h kh kc - tc 5c -- 3d jd 4c
Holdem Hi: 990 enumerated boards containing 4c Jd 3d
cards win %win lose %lose tie %tie EV
Kc Kh 894 90.30 96 9.70 0 0.00 0.903
Tc 5c 96 9.70 894 90.30 0 0.00 0.097

*** TURN *** [3d Jd 4c] [7s]
*** RIVER *** [3d Jd 4c 7s] [6s]
on_thg shows a pair of Kings
pushmonkey72 shows a straight, Seven high
pushmonkey72 wins the pot (33,046) with a straight, Seven high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 33,046 | Rake 0
Board: [3d Jd 4c 7s 6s]
Seat 2: ElSnarfGrande folded before the Flop
Seat 3: Fishiswa (button) folded before the Flop
Seat 4: NumbBono (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: pushmonkey72 (big blind) showed [Tc 5c] and won (33,046) with a straight, Seven high
Seat 7: on_thg showed [Kh Kc] and lost with a pair of Kings
Seat 8: nutzfirth folded before the Flop

The stuff in the middle was more of the same, only slightly less extreme.

Screw this.